hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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