my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
