dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
