I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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