Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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