I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
