i don't like sucking hair
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can't turn off my feet"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
