i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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