haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
