as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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