dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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