I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
