covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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