I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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