I got chris browned last night
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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