so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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