We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Im part way to drunk.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
