I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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