I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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