this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
