Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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