He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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