oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
