Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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