i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Still dying that you shit outside
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I supernannyed him into submission
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
