this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
