i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
