Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
