so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
