I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
