He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
