for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Be still, my beating vagina.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
