I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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