currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
