Can Purell be used as lube?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
