Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
