we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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