An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
