Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
