Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize