It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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