the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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