after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
