U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
