is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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