Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
