A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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