I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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