I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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