i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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