how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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