I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
