You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have fence marks all over my body
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize