So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
