Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
