dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
