what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
