so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
