absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
