Having a random hookup so left but love u
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
