i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
