Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
